Computer Wedlock

So recently my fiance and best friend decided that I deserved an amazing gaming computer. See, I like to write, blog, and play video games. So they thought, kick ass gaming computer. Sounds amazing right??? Yeah, I thought so too.

Do you see the picture to the left?? Well, that's what my computer looked like. Until yesterday anyways. Yeah, that's right, I'm building a computer. Insert whimpers of panic here. Let me tell you, that is not for the faint of heart. Like, holy hell fire!!! People make it look so easy, and after a fashion I suppose it really was. Motherboard, you line up the holes and screw it in. Screw in the power supply, attach the hard drives, plug in ram and graphics cards. Oh and be sure to attach all the appropriate plugs. Do you know what the hardest part was for me? The screw! The gosh darned screws for the motherboard. Never before have I felt so dumb trying to attach something to another thing. I swear to you I felt like crying, which made me feel dumber.

Now for those that don't know, though by now I'm sure you do, I am not a tech genius. This was officially my first time building a computer, and believe me it was as scary as it sounds. Mind you, I've helped to assemble a 3-D printer before and that seemed so much easier. The instructions for that consisted of put A into B and screw together with C. Simple right? That's what I thought too. Now, the instructions for assembling a computer. Well those read like IKEA instructions written in hieroglyphics with a Japanese accent. You're trying to figure it out aren't you?  Yeah, those instructions were as follows.

Remove motherboard from static sleeve, but don't touch motherboard. Find all holes in case. Figure out which holes line up with the almost invisible holes in motherboard. Remember, don't touch the motherboard. Now, that you've found the holes, place motherboard in case. Screw in with tiny little screws that easily pop off, oops you just lost one. Now that you've finished, stand back and admire your work. Wait, what's wrong with this picture?? For the love of dragon eggs, you forgot to put the silver cover over the ports. Damnit!! Now you have to take off the motherboard and do it all over again. But guess what. Now the screws no longer fit as nicely as they did 5 minutes ago.

I honestly think building a computer is like being married. It's all happiness and excitement at the thought of a new toy. The idea of bragging to your friends that you build your own computer, it's satisfying. Dreaming of the complete build and how glorious it will look. And then the day comes to build it, and you say I do. That's the day your realize, your wife is always right. And even when she's wrong, she's still right. Why? Because you were building it and you should have known better. Now start over and do it right. But what's the right way? Not the way you just did it!


Fancy pretty technology is great, and I'm very much looking forward to the computer being finished. But for now, it just sits there. Mocking me, half done, waiting for the last part. Internally laughing at me because I couldn't find the screw hole.